Some things I want to do this summer:

• Things around the house:
• Paint my room
• Paint Sarah's room
• Do some gardening in the backyard... maybe even learn how to design outdoor tile flooring...  (I want to start applying my love for interior design... learn something new... get my hands dirty! BE INNOVATIVE!)  
• Things to do for me:
• Finally finish reading the old testament.
• Go kickboxing at least 3 times a week (get my money's worth for the gym).
• In my spare time:
• Meet up with people that I haven't seen throughout the year.
• Maybe do a road trip somewhere!

*** I have about 3 months... I want to do something productive and not be lazy. I want to bring improvement in my life!

I am so surprised... I knew that adults.. well parents grew up as teenagers too but they have stories.

They have pasts.

They played with friends, they did things against their parents will too... surprisingly some went through the same things that I did.

They partied, they played, they liked the opposite sex, they dated, some even went to clubs (ni-i-ee-tt) hahaha

I overheard some adults (who are now parents) talking and it's surprising.

I guess it never really hit me that they CAN understand us. They DO understand what we're going through. And we get scolded and grounded because they are trying to protect us because they KNOW.

Crazy... they've lived! No wonder they worry and jan-so-ree to us.

It's fun listening to parents and their experiences. I have a new respect and are a little less afraid to approach parents. Although they don't tell us... I realized we never take the time to ask.

They have stories. Wow.

I want to CONQUER grades!

I hate grades... I don't want to be graded for how good I am in life, no matter how hard I try. My pastor gave a sermon this past Sunday saying how we college students don't know how lucky we are to have grades. This was just the introduction to his sermon. But anyway that's besides the point.

I realized how much I don't like grades... you know why? It's because no matter how hard I try and how much I study, even if I study weeks ahead of time, never miss a lecture, do all my homework, and do all my reading... it's not good enough.

Grades make me want to cry. Really it's not because I'm lazy. Ask my roommates, I'm a total loner because all I do is read in my room. But I still feel like a failure when I get my grades.

I know everyone tells me that grades don't mean anything and that it's all about life experiences but this world cares so much about standards and if we don't meet them.

I hate grades because it just gives me another reason to compare myself to others (other people's grades, how good they are) and see that I'm inadequate.

I'm sorry that today my entries have been so emo and sad... I think it's the mood that finals week and studying has given me.

I really do give studying and school my best. I haven't missed a class at all this year and I really enjoy learning but I don't do as well as I should with all the studying I do.

It's ok... you know why? Because God loves me and no matter what I do.. if it is with my WHOLE heart .. and if I'm living for God, that's all that matters. So grades-- FORGET YOU. I will not live by the standards of this world. Yes other people might be better than me and maybe even more successful than me but life is more than just grades.. it's the way you live it. The way you follow after Jesus. The way you love others.

Thank you Jesus for helping me realize right now that grades don't matter as long as I live my life loving like you do and seeking you. I will not compare myself with others and I will not worry about grades... even though they are important, YOU are more important to me. Thank you Jesus for loving me even when I'm not good enough for this world. I am not living for the acceptance of this world, but for you and you ALONE.

(conquered two finals, and two more to goooooo! hwaetingggg!)

:)

Live, Laugh, and Love... that's my motto.